Limericks at the PUN-OFF

Limericks at the PUN-OFF
PunPunPun.com > PUN ARK HIVES > O.HENRY PUN-OFF 2003 > Limericks at the PUN-OFF

Chris Caillouet did his entire routine in limerick form for the "Punniest of
Show" competition at the 2003 26th Annual O. Henry Pun-Off World
Championships in Austin May 3rd.

A young manicurist named Gail
Fell in love with a dentist named Dale
They might still be together
Were they birds of a feather
But they constantly fought tooth and nail

A shy piece of celery, named Walker
Truly bored Bloody Mary, a talker
Once she'd told him goodbye
He'd still sneak around and spy
For he was, by his nature, a stalker

That guy from Wisconsin right there
Wrote this ode to his state in despair
"I left you in bliss
But, Boy do I miss
The sweet smell of your dairy air"

Maybe Microsoft had good intent
With their cartoonish paper clip meant
To provide help in word
But that thing's so absurd
I wish that that darned clip would get bent

A randy young fellow named Yates
Went out drinking and searching for mates
But the girls in the bars
Had the worst acne scars
And the guy just abhors pitted dates

The proctologist, Williams opined
"I do more work than two men combined
I've been trying for weeks
To catch up with these cheeks
But I swear that I still feel behind"

An old Catholic priest, Father Blass
Dealt a message both condemning and crass
His sermon was loaded
And it finally exploded
When flock had reached critical mass

To the matador's woe and dismay
He discovered his skin had turned gray
When he asked his Ma-ma
For a cure to this flaw
She replied, "Try my Oil of Olé"

(By Chris Caillouet)