Stupid French people...

"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your

accordion." Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defence

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac,

President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush

Limbaugh

"They've taken their own precautions against Al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an

attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a

three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being

advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot -

dropped once.'" Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found

truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller

Raise your right hand if you like the French ...... raise both hands if you

are French.

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein ? Because he

hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,

people." Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get

Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out

of France." Jay Leno

Q: What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the

city in WWII ?

A: Table for 100,000 m'sieur ?

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into

Paris under a German flag." David Letterman

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known,

it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII ?

And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv