AUTO REPAIR A blonde pushes  her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling  smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She  asks, "How often do I have to do that?" EXPOSURE A blonde is walking down  the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging  out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am,  are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She  looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!" RIVER WALK There's this  blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde  on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo," she shouts, "how  can I get to the other side?" The second blonde  looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You ARE  on the other side." KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the  freeway.. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the  blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and  yelled, "PULL OVER!" NO!", the  blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" BLONDE ON THE  SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were  talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the  first in space!" The American said, "We were the  first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what?  We're going to be the first on the sun!" The  Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"  said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied,  "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" THE VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can  you hear it?" She thought for a time and then  asked, "Is it on or off?" FINAL EXAM The blonde reported for her university final examination  that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the  examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and  then, in a fit of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin  and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is  seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The  moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going  on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm  rechecking my answers." THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this  note: "I have kidnapped your child.. Leave $10,000  in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde " She pinned the note  inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight  home. The next morning, she returned to the park  to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as  she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following  note.... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that  one blonde would do this to another!"